I think my attitude towards Catholicism has changed a lot in the last few years. Back in high school I was more dedicated, I would pray every night for about 10 minutes before bed and go to church because I felt like I had to and those that claimed that they were Catholic but didn't go to church every week I would wonder why they even bothered calling themselves that.
Now I admit my views on religions is not as black and white. It used to be 'Hey, follow these specific set of rules and I'll guarantee you'll get a spot in heaven.' Now the rules seem less significant. I'm not talking about the Golden Rule but the kind that tell you to go to church every week, confess your sins to the priest and you'll be absolved, even something as mandatory as making the sign of the cross before prayer. It all seems more trivial to me now. And there are so many views the Catholic Church has I do not agree with, and I just find the reasoning so stupid that I feel like if God could speak he'd agree that yeah, they are stupid and find it embarrassing they'd use his name behind it.
My relationship with God has changed. I don't fear him anymore, I talk to him more often in my head throughout the day like a friend than I did reciting prayers to what felt like distant being who was watching and judging my every move. When I feel like I've done something wrong I ask Him straight up to forgive me. Even when I pass the altar when people kneel respectfully, I'd instead give it a wink or a knowing nod or my signature pointing with two hands move (subtly of course haha). During church I'd just blank out and be bored, and I'd imagine God sitting there next to me thinking how much the organ drags out and also hoping the pointless mass would end sooner. He's the kind of cool guy who just wants you to be happy and make others happy. Yeah, this could be a phase, it may not be the kind of God that I'm told to worship but it's the God that I feel is in my heart.
Wow, this turned into a serious kinda blog. Sorry I bored you with this topic.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Marianne's back to blogging
My mum was telling me of this story of my dad's that I thought was pretty cool so I've decided to write it out to share...if anyone still reads this blog. I KNOW I KNOW I'm terrible at committing to things. And if there are people who care I'M SORRY. I love you, and thank each and every one of you who have taken even just 30 seconds to skim over anything that I've even written on here about me, my thoughts and my less than average life.
So anyway, years ago back when my older sister was still in primary school, my dad woke up in the middle of the night startled by the dream he just had. So much that he woke up my mum who was asleep next to him. To give a bit of context my dad went to military school in Vietnam where they slept in bunk beds and all that. The guy that slept above my dad on the top bunk, let's call him John, became good friends with my dad. John was one of the few people my dad actually liked, being humble and kind and an overall top bloke. But when he left Vietnam to Australia with my mum and his family, he hadn't heard from him again, not knowing where he was going or if he was even still alive.
Dad: I've just had the weirdest dream. I was back in my bed in military school sleeping when John starts peeing on the top bunk so much that it starts seeping through the mattress and falling on me like rain.
Mum mumbling into her pillow: That's great.
Dad: Weird thing is I haven't thought about John in years!
Mum: yep. *falls back asleep*
The next morning my dad dropped off my sister at school and went into a bakery, having a craving for those Vietnamese bread rolls. Next to him he saw a man that looked somewhat familiar. He wasn't sure but he had to ask.
Dad: Excuse me, does your name happen to be John?
The man turn towards my dad with a look of absolute astonishment.
John: TIEN?! (that's my dad's name by the way)
Dad: This is unbelievable. I just had a dream about you last night and now here you are!
So it turned out, that of all the countries in the world they ended up at, of all the cities, and of all the bakeries and the exact time the universe was able to unite two old friends back together several years later.
That's pretty amazing.
So anyway, years ago back when my older sister was still in primary school, my dad woke up in the middle of the night startled by the dream he just had. So much that he woke up my mum who was asleep next to him. To give a bit of context my dad went to military school in Vietnam where they slept in bunk beds and all that. The guy that slept above my dad on the top bunk, let's call him John, became good friends with my dad. John was one of the few people my dad actually liked, being humble and kind and an overall top bloke. But when he left Vietnam to Australia with my mum and his family, he hadn't heard from him again, not knowing where he was going or if he was even still alive.
Dad: I've just had the weirdest dream. I was back in my bed in military school sleeping when John starts peeing on the top bunk so much that it starts seeping through the mattress and falling on me like rain.
Mum mumbling into her pillow: That's great.
Dad: Weird thing is I haven't thought about John in years!
Mum: yep. *falls back asleep*
The next morning my dad dropped off my sister at school and went into a bakery, having a craving for those Vietnamese bread rolls. Next to him he saw a man that looked somewhat familiar. He wasn't sure but he had to ask.
Dad: Excuse me, does your name happen to be John?
The man turn towards my dad with a look of absolute astonishment.
John: TIEN?! (that's my dad's name by the way)
Dad: This is unbelievable. I just had a dream about you last night and now here you are!
So it turned out, that of all the countries in the world they ended up at, of all the cities, and of all the bakeries and the exact time the universe was able to unite two old friends back together several years later.
That's pretty amazing.
Things I ponder about during church
I’ve always wondered about this invisible counter that’s existed throughout my life. One that was counting the number of people that I’ve talked to, number of people I’ve been attracted to, number of people who’ve passed by and thought I was pretty (which seriously would probably be under 2 where they’re totally drunk at the time), number of people who’ve been to my facebook page, number of people who’ve noticed one of my eyes being rounder than the other, number of times i’ve looked in the mirror and thought I looked decent (which would again, probably be less than a handful), number of hours I've done exams, number of hours I've spent waiting for the train and so on. It'd just be cool to see a counter that knew the exact number. Well, to me anyway. No point to this blog. Just being bored while I wait for my nails to dry.
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